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▲ jimmy ▲
▼ 23/m/atx ▼
        tickmancer        

does anyone that one picture of a dude at a tea party rally holding up a sign saying “there sure are a lot of white people here”

— 1 month ago with 2 notes

spacetwinks:

halo masterchief turned to cortana. “cortana,” he said, “search spacenet for ‘hella boobs’.”

"masterchief, you are looking at boobs. i was designed with the express purpose of being a hologram with boobs, looking naked and everything while people also use me as some kinda super computer. that’s pretty fucked up but here i am"

"cortana i want to look at more boobs. search boobs," replied masterchief grimly, thinking back on the war

— 1 month ago with 1935 notes

monetizeyourcat:

thewaitisogre:

femalevillain:

a day in the life of spencer pratt

ok i need to break this up *laganja voice* this is too f*cking much 1. he eats a breakfast burrito every single day that’s amazing 2. look how he’s checking his social media no one checks their phone at the beach on one knee i can’t 3. the way he’s using his laptop cracks me up for some reason 4. it is absolutely not necessary to check every single day if earthquakes are coming actually nothing he’s doing here is necessary 5. ur not busy not even close

this man is like a parody of a human being it’s the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen

(Source: wolfcola)

— 1 month ago with 2255 notes
how am i supposed to get anything done with not one, but TWO versions of world war z to not watch??

how am i supposed to get anything done with not one, but TWO versions of world war z to not watch??

— 1 month ago with 1 note
this is my precious shiny ditto, i caught him in firered and have made sure to transfer him up to whatever generation is current. he’s also my breeding ditto, and has been in the daycare center for so long over the years that it’s grown 50+ levels and has probably fucked hundreds of pokemon across 5 games.

this is my precious shiny ditto, i caught him in firered and have made sure to transfer him up to whatever generation is current. he’s also my breeding ditto, and has been in the daycare center for so long over the years that it’s grown 50+ levels and has probably fucked hundreds of pokemon across 5 games.

— 1 month ago with 3 notes
spacetwinks:

in april 26th of the year 2000, Chet Faliszek and Erik Wolpaw - better known now as writers for Valve, involved with the stories for Portal, Left 4 Dead, Half Life, and so on - along with their friend Kevin, created a new video game review metric, aiming to be as objective as possible: Start To Crate, a system which posits that the longer the time between starting a game and seeing a crate, barrel, or functionally crate/barrel object in that game, the better that game is. objectively. and the sooner you see a crate or barrel, the worse that game is. objectively.

spacetwinks:

in april 26th of the year 2000, Chet Faliszek and Erik Wolpaw - better known now as writers for Valve, involved with the stories for Portal, Left 4 Dead, Half Life, and so on - along with their friend Kevin, created a new video game review metric, aiming to be as objective as possible: Start To Crate, a system which posits that the longer the time between starting a game and seeing a crate, barrel, or functionally crate/barrel object in that game, the better that game is. objectively. and the sooner you see a crate or barrel, the worse that game is. objectively.

(via spacetwinks)

— 2 months ago with 1511 notes

seriousjones:

that awkward moment when you get horny in the produce section of the supermarket again so you google “goku making out with vegeta” but your phone autocorrects it to “how to make off with vegetables” and your supermarket’s wifi records the search and the manager traces it back to you and bans you for conspiracy to steal vegetables so now you’re both horny and starving

(via spacetwinks)

— 2 months ago with 577 notes

grimelords:

I’m not racist but [throws a dart at a map] lithuanians don’t know shit about [spins a big wheel] creating lasting memories during early childhood?

(via hallandoates1970topresent-deact)

— 2 months ago with 37322 notes